A few years before the events of this story, I went to the California Academy of Sciences in San Francisco with a Zoology class from the College of Marin. While on a guided tour, we were surprised when the docent walked directly to the side of a wall and opened a hidden door. The door was completely camouflaged, and we would have never noticed it had he not shown us.

From there, we took a "secret" elevator up to the next floor, which was filled with floor to ceiling sliding file cabinets that spanned the length of the room. The cabinets were side-by-side until, with the push of a button, they separated to make room for entomologists to open the drawers and search for their favorite six-legged subjects.

The file cases were full of insects from all over the world— an entomologist's heaven. The cases had everything from Coleoptera (beetles) to the most beautiful Lepidoptera (butterflies) you can imagine, pinned and labeled in protective glass cases.

I was so impressed with the place that I took a date there a few years later. The only problem was the entomology room was open only to academicians. I had to get creative.

I was a student at UC Davis by then, so with my complicit date in-tow, I decided to try and bluff my way into the secret room. I had a few things going for me. First, I knew where the door was. That alone gave me credibility as far as the guard was concerned. He knew that only staff-invited guests would know how to enter the elevator room. Next, I was a student at UC Davis, so it wasn't a lie when

I told the guard I was from UC Davis. Thirdly, when asked what I wanted, I said I was interested in seeing the Lepidoptera. Using the scientific name for butterflies sold the guard that I was a legitimate entomologist, so he called the researcher on staff and she agreed to see us. My date was totally impressed. Her eyes were as big as butterfly wings as we stepped into the secret entomology room.

The guard dropped us off at the office of the researcher who was very polite and gracious, until I started to speak. My youth and amateur vocabulary gave me away in an instant. She knew I was a con and went from an engaged forward leaning attentive body position at her desk to an eye rolling sceptic slouching in her chair. "What do you want?" she asked. "I was hoping we could see the butterflies." I said, with as much humility as I could without seeming like a total wimp.

She could have kicked us out and accused us of being scoundrels. Instead, she gave us a personal tour showing us butterflies shimmering with vibrant fluorescent colors and one whose wings looked like dry winter leaves. We saw Goliath beetles with tusk-like appendages to help them fight and dominate their competitors. Her presentation to us included many other insects and made entomology seem exciting.

So, our bold attempt to infiltrate the secret entomology room livened things up for us and while it could have gone so wrong, my date was impressed.

~ Andrew Laufer