I was surrounded by my baseball teammates after I crossed home plate with the winning home run in the Los Angeles "City Championship" game. I was "THE MAN"! We were a rag tag bunch of guys that found each other from the Parks and Rec sign up list. We celebrated afterward at a local bar and the conversation inevitably came around to what we did for a living.

Big Mike was a construction worker, Raging Ralph a Steelworker, and I reluctantly said I was a preschool teacher. What? The weird looks that followed brought me back to the time I told my father I wasn't going to pursue a business career with my business degree and that I had followed my heart and took a job as a preschool teacher.

"A preschool teacher? What's wrong with you? Are you gay?"

"I'm not gay Dad. I just feel like I want to help young children develop a love of learning while pursuing their passions in life."

"Have you lost your mind? You can't make a living as a preschool teacher. Besides, that's women's work!"

I experienced the same reaction from my "True Love's" father as we sat around the long dining table at their estate in Ridgefield, Connecticut. "Well son, my daughter seems smitten with you. Tell me, How do you plan to support my high society daughter in the lifestyle she is accustomed to?"

"Well sir, as you know, I just finished a Bilingual Teaching Degree from the University that Vicki and I attended in Mexico. I plan to teach migrant farm camp preschoolers and hopefully open a school for them someday."

He immediately turned to his daughter and said, "You brought home another one of those?" Vicki married the vice president of the Hilton Hotels in the Bahamas.

I then attended a graduate school for a degree in Human Development and took a fulfilling job working preschool children. I felt like I was making a difference in their lives. I was passionate about my work. But, "AM I A REAL MAN". "Is something wrong with me?"

I'm still doing what I perceive as "manly" things: playing baseball, working on my car, lifting weights, and bar hopping with my buddies. I was a combat vet and weapons specialist during the Vietnam War. After completing my military duty I backpacked around the world for two years, living in a cave on the Canary Islands for six months, crossing the Sahara desert, and dancing with the Duke of Arundel's daughter in jolly ole' England.  

I didn't have to rely on anyone and had total control of my emotions. I showed no vulnerability. But the men I know are still viewing me with skepticism for my career choice and I have this need to "fit in" and just be one of the guys. Maybe I should take my father's offer to join his company where I can earn a high wage and do REAL MAN'S WORK.

The "TRUE PROOF" that I was "A MAN" though came when I met John Wayne at the Amazon Frontier town of Leticia, Colombia in 1979 and beat him at a long-distance rifle shooting contest. I backpacked for three months on boats, rafts, and small planes from the end of the Amazon River at the port city of Belem, Brazil. I was on a three-month solo backpacking adventure that would take me to the last town close to the start of the Amazon River at the Andes Mountains in Peru.

I had heard from a cigar smoking, tough Amazonian boat captain that if I wanted to meet John Wayne, I should just get off his boat at the next stop, pass through customs, and follow the dusty dirt road about ¼ of a mile into the jungle. The John Wayne Saloon would be dead ahead at the end of the road.

I was more than eager to get out of this humid, 120-degree weather full of mosquitos the size of elephants. My 32-year-old self teamed up with a couple of 20-something backpacking lovebirds from Minnesota and we followed that narrow dirt road that meandered through the jungle.

All of a sudden we came to a large clearing and there sat John Wayne in a rocking chair behind a hitching post next to two dusty brown swinging doors. He stood up and faced us wearing a pinched rim Calvary hat, white pearl button shirt, and rugged, open tan vest.

His tight fitting, leather pants were cinched together by a Buffalo Bill Wild West silver belt buckle and a double holstered gun belt that held two short barreled, quick draw, Colt 45s with 24 bullet slots. That gun, the Peacemaker, was made popular by Billy the Kid and was said to have "Won the West".

John stepped off that porch and leaned against his white thoroughbred horse which was tied up to the hitching post and said, "Howdy partners! What brings you two young bucks and this mighty fine gal way down here to my Amazon jungle?"

"Well, John, that's a good question! I can only speak for myself but I rode my stallion down from Texas just to meet you. An old miner told me there were vast riches to discover with you as my guide. So here I am!"

"Well, son, anyone with a crazy enough comeback to make me smile deserves a shot of my finest whiskey. Follow me!"

Passing through those swinging doors I was transported back to my "manly" Cowboy and Indian fantasy worlds of the 1950's where I helped Cochise defeat the evil "White" men.

We saddled up to a long exotic and highly polished wood bar and sat on the well-worn bar stools. All kinds of stuffed animal heads adorned the walls and there were five round poker tables next to a small stage and dance floor.

Four of the tables were full of middle-aged tourists and one table had four scruffy looking men and one woman who were pounding down shots of whiskey and playing poker. Each man had a Remington Revolver. Two also carried Winchester rifles and the other two had double-barreled shotguns. The woman only carried a 1897 Marlin rifle. I found out later that she was none other than the famous Annie Oakley.

After throwing back a couple of shots of the "rock gut" whiskey, John Wayne stood up and hollered, "All right folks. Hitch up your britches and come out back for the best darn "Wild West Show" you will ever see." For two hours we were entertained with calf roping, bareback riding, and amazing shooting demonstrations.

Annie Oakley amazed us with her unbelievable rifle shooting while riding bareback and side-saddle. We even got to fire the guns and rifles at targets. Having been a weapons specialist in the U.S. army during the Vietnam War, I was even able to outshoot John Wayne in the long-distance target shooting competition. That earned me a private drink of his special Scottish reserve whiskey.

Once the Wild West Show was over and all the tourists had gone back to their jungle resort, our wannabe John Wayne shared his story with us. His name was Guenther Schoell and he had always loved to watch John Wayne on television as a child and wanted to be just like him. He was born in a small village in Germany near the Polish border where he and his family suffered under the Russian occupation of Germany during WWII.

He eventually made his way to Leticia, Columbia and followed his childhood dream by building a saloon, hotel, Wild West Show, and a touring company. He had found his true joy in life entertaining people in a way that was dear to his heart. He opined to us young bucks that whatever we do in life, be sure to discover our passion and don't let anyone's expectations or society's stereotypes get in the way of pursuing it.

And that was the spark that helped me realize that the world view I grew up with of what a "REAL MAN" is supposed to be was not the view I wanted to follow. I taught preschool for 10 fulfilling years and then finished my career teaching Early Childhood Education at a Community College while performing in schools throughout the world using storytelling, music, and dance.

I still had to buck the limiting stereotype of being in a "Women's Career" but thanks to John Wayne and other special people in my life, I expanded my definition of what it is to be a "REAL MAN".

~ Ed Lewis