I got up one morning; the sun was shining but, in my world, there was a huge black cloud hovering above my head. My dear friend, Charlotte, had died. She was the sister I never had. My life had tilted. What to do?

I've learned that, when the bottom falls out, not to give up… but, to face it. Yes, it would be a while before the joy returned to my life so what to do in the meantime?

Face it. Write all those feelings in a journal and get them out of my head. Go ahead… get in the shower and let the tears flow like the water cleansing my outer skin and cleanse the inner self. Let the healing waters take it away and clear out feelings out sadness. Then set them aside for a few minutes.

When my son, Jeffry, died in 2010, a counselor at the Compassionate Friends meeting suggested we take a paper plate and write ONE thing on it that we would do tomorrow. There are moments in our lives when we are completely overwhelmed with events and losses.

So, just get back to basics. One day my plate read: "Get out of bed." That's about all I could handle at the time.

One lady in the group said that, when her daughter died, she'd get up each morning like a robot, put on the nearest clothes in her closet, and go to work... come home, let the clothes fall to the floor, go to bed... until one day there were no more clothes in the closet. Her plate read; "Wash."

Over a period of time here are some things that might help:

• Draw a Happy Face on your bathroom mirror with lipstick.
• Keep a file of letters, cards, nice things people have said and/or done for you, jokes, uplifting sayings.
• When you wake up—get out of bed! Exercise! Have a cheery buddy; use positive self-talk and affirmations; listen to music; feed your soul. Treat yourself like your best friend! Drink no alcohol as it's a depressant; Eat right; Get enough sleep. Drink enough water.
• Make a list of all the things in your head that are running around: capture them on paper where you can see them.

Now go on and take on the day!

~ Anita Duncan Adams